We are the Anti-Fartists (Anti-Fa) of Uranus. Our planet, with its volatile mantle and gaseous atmosphere has long been in a state of flux as our population tries to balance the heat and pressure of the elemental components in order to maintain habitable islands on our planet-wide ocean of liquid CCarbon dioxide. During our last orbit around the sun, when we were last in line with your planet, we noticed dangerous Earthlings calling themselves Fascists, which appears to have inspired a group of Uranians.
Calling themselves Fartists, they began a campaign to change the power balance on Uranus. Their primary belief appears to be that releasing more gas into our atmosphere (thus increasing the overall heat and pressure planetwide) will lead to larger land-masses on which to reside. Our scientists’ models show that this is completely false and will, in reality, hasten the ultimate demise of life on Uranus, but the Fartists refuse to listen to facts. They have been buying islands and forcing other Uranians to leave their homes so they can build more fart factories.
Too many Uranians are oblivious to the danger posed by these Fartists because it has not yet affected them directly, so we challenge them to Look Up and see what’s happening! They need to see the danger so they can join us in fighting against it. We have once again approached your planet and achieved perfect alignment on November 21st. Now we can teleport Earthlings to Uranus so you can see the beauty of our planet and the danger of this situation for yourselves. We’re asking everyone to Look Up Uranus and join us in the Anti-Fa movement.
Pat Zatucchus,
Earth Liason
and Anti-Fartist
